Parents Learn About Student Support at Sessions with Small

The first Sessions with Small, a regular meeting Head of Upper School Scott Small offers to parents, kicked off the school year this week. As with all things this fall, the event was offered virtually to all Upper School parents. Small brought in the MICDS Upper School Student Support Team for introductions to themselves and the resources and support they offer.

Vicki Thurman, Director of Student Support Services, led the conversation. She explained that the team is still offering all their usual support and resources, just in a different way due to our current learning models. “Our mission is to work in partnership with students, parents, and faculty to focus on the whole child,” she said. “We want to help them manage the stress these uncertain times bring, and offer coping skills for academic and social-emotional challenges.” She stressed that while their work is collaborative, it is also intensely confidential. In short, they’re working to help all Upper School students thrive, despite the current environment. While her team collaborates regularly with the Head of Upper School, deans, and advisors, she encourages parents to reach out to any of these resources should they notice something unusual with their students.

Online student support happens much like it does when everyone is on campus: sometimes in small groups and sometimes one-on-one. Much of their contact is through Zoom, which seems to be working remarkably well. “What we have noticed is that sometimes when we’re in Zoom sessions with kids they connect better and open up more. There is perhaps a little bit of freedom knowing their friend isn’t going to see them talking to a counselor,” explained David Hotaling, Upper School Counselor. “Plus they’re in their home space. We can see them in their own environment and sometimes it’s clearer to see their expressions over Zoom.” And what about students who are on campus and don’t want to reach out for help with peers around? The Upper School team has arranged for alternate spaces for private conversations on campus, getting them out of their academic Zoom rooms so they, too, can enjoy private conversations. It’s evident they are managing to find ways to connect in a meaningful way despite the challenges of this pandemic.

Sam Cummins, Upper School Learning Specialist, introduced himself and explained that he is available to support all MICDS Upper School students. He offers support for strategic learning, and students can best learn in their specific classes. Cummins recommends that students always reach out to their teachers first, of course, but said that sometimes it’s helpful to work with someone outside the class. He loves to offer help with studying and organizing strategies and can help remote students organize their time and space to learn more effectively from home. When encouraging students to reach out to their teachers for help, parents can help them craft an email and consider their goals and what to ask about. Cummins also shared information about the Upper School Academic Support Center, which offers drop-in help on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays. He said that MICDS coaches support student-athletes’ use of the Academic Support Center; players should just be sure to let their coaches know they’ll be late to practice. Cummins also spoke about the MICDS Peer Tutoring program, which can be helpful in establishing connections with older students.

From break-ups to friend fights to fevers, Upper School Nurse Michelle Fox sees it all throughout the course of a school year. “I’m often the first stop for student support, “ she said. “Then I route them where they need to go.” She works with families for accommodation plans for students with health conditions like diabetes, concussions, and seizures, and acute or longer-term illnesses like mono. She admits that COVID-19 has changed her work completely, and encourages parents to reach out with any pandemic questions or family concerns. “I can get you the right place with care,” she said. She also asks that parents reach out if anyone in their home has symptoms, as it helps the School with tracking.

Hotaling talked about how his work is collaborative, with input from Small, the deans, and the Student Support Team to make sure all students’ needs are being taken care of. “Students rely on friends a lot more than adults, so we normalize that it’s still cool to have connections with adults, whether that is a teacher, dean, advisor, or one of us in Student Support,” he said.

He talked about how some students struggle with learning online, some do well, and some need support. “Isolation is a real concern right now,” he said. “We really promote good, basic self-care. It’s more important than ever if you’re on Zoom calls all day and in your house, to get outside, move your body, get regular exercise, and try to connect with a variety of people.” He said that students have provided other self-care tips such as connecting with nature, with pets, and with grandparents. He said mild crankiness and fatigue are to be expected, but if parents notice an unusual amount they should reach out to him or one of our other specialists. “We are happy to help,” he said.

Hotaling offers regular Counselor Chats through coordination with the Parents Association Parent Education Committee. They have three planned for this fall, so be on the lookout for an email with dates. September will cover transitions and getting used to MICDS. October delves into character strengths, which is especially relevant since the 9th graders recently completed a survey about their strengths. The November/December session will cover substance abuse concerns. Other Parent Education sessions are being developed, too, including a discussion with local doctors about the novel coronavirus.

Finally, Greg Foster, Coordinator of Community Engagement, introduced himself and let parents know that he is here for all students. While he typically works with 7th and 9th graders who are new to the MICDS community, his door is always open for every student. “I’m an advocate for the students, and I love working with them,” he said. Thurman pointed out that students often feel more comfortable turning to Foster for help since he doesn’t have a title like “counselor” or “learning specialist.”

What can parents do to support their children’s transition into the Upper School and optimize their learning? Encourage your child to reach out to resources early and build relationships rather than wait until they encounter struggles. It’s important that they find connections so that relationships are established when they need help. Parents can also encourage productive struggle and working within their students’ zone of proximal development. (Proximal development is a fancy way of “saying support your student at the level they need.”) Students can persevere and fight through some struggle. High school is a time where parents should step back a little bit, let their children spread their wings, and struggle, which is good for the students. “You can support them without solving all their problems,” Hotaling pointed out. Remember: stress is healthy and necessary to help students develop grit and confidence in their problem-solving skills!

Parents often inquire about strategies to combat Zoom fatigue, and the Student Support Team has some great tips and tricks. First, it’s essential to recognize that fatigue is real and can lead to students having trouble focusing. What has helped a lot of students is to plan breaks and take the action needed to fight fatigue. It’s okay for students to stand up and move around during their online class. “Changing your position can really help,” said Fox. Students are encouraged to find an opportune time to private message their teacher to say, “I noticed my focus is wavering. I’ll be right back.” And then get up and move, get a change of scenery for a minute, get a drink of water, run around the house, or do some jumping jacks. The entire team recommended several times to drink a lot of water and stay hydrated.

Parents should evaluate where their students are learning. Are they lounging In bed? Are they hunched over or slouching? It’s best to work at a counter or desk and to elevate laptops so students are facing forward and level and not down. Parents should also pay attention to how their students are spending their time when they can get away from the laptop. They should go outside and exercise. Thurman also recommended looking into purchasing glasses that block blue light or using a blue light filter app on their computer.

Again and again, the Student Support team invited parents to email or call any of them for help or with questions. Families can also reference the COVID-19 Status Tracker on the Reopening page of the website for up-to-date information about cases in or near the MICDS community.

Click here to see the slide deck from the Student Support Session With Small.

Click here for information on the Academic Support Center schedule, dates, and teacher availability.